mi vida

oh shit i think this is my second post in a week! maybe?

anyway i have some random updates/nonsense i just feel like talking about...

okay first, im broke. but what else is new? i think i forgot to mention that the job my man found a couple months ago turned about to be some ol' bullshit commission fuckery. so he's still looking. i'm still looking. don't get me wrong i am grateful to have a job, it just isnt the job for me. AT ALL. it's robotic, simple, doesn't challenge my brain whatsoever. i feel like i've lost IQ points just working there for as long as i have. if they paid me halfway decent i might be able to deal with that. BUT they don't. my paycheck is an even bigger joke after that 10% salary cut they made and then to only get paid once a month fuckin suuuuucks.

i just wish out of all these jobs i applied to, SOMEBODY will call me for an interview soon. my resume is pretty damn good so i don't understand what the problem is. i guess there really aren't many places hiring right now *sigh* NOW i believe people when they say "i can't find a job." i used to suck my teeth and think "yeah okay, surrrre..." but searching myself has given me a reality check. shit truly is fucked up out here. but enough complaining, we are doing what we can do and we just have to keep on doing it.

i have my moments every now and then but at the end of the day i know it could be worse. yeah my bills are behind, but not to the point where shit is getting disconnected. the rent is paid, the lights are on, i have heat, water, food... shit even cable and internet which isn't even a necessity. it's hard stretching money and making dollars to magic tricks to keep it that way but like i said, it could be worse. and i'm thankful that it isn't.

i have beautiful, loving, crazy children to remind me what life is all about. and i have a man who... well he's just the shit. i don't know another way to put it. if yall knew how he was from day one up until now.... ooowhee. drastic change, for the better. i dont have time to get into our history right now but we've come a long way. i never expected to honestly but life is crazy and everything does happen for a reason. he helps me in every way he is capable and i'm in a state of contentment and happiness i have never known in my life. he also does music and recently wrote a song about strong women (good mothers, going to school, taking care of their kids, etc.) and told me it was dedicated to me. today he told me to call his phone and it was my ringtone :) it feels good to be appreciated, and in the form of a song at that lol.

ohhh i also have a great story about karma. i love that bitch.

i got a phone call from my bd's brother-in-law last week a day or two before christmas. he said that my bd called collect (apparently he's been in jail for months *shrugs* i didnt know and could care less) and gave him my phone number to call me and ask if i would DO HIM A FAVOR. i laughed immediately. i was like "a what? hahahaha yeah right." well his brother-in-law wasn't privy to the situation so i made a long story short and ran it down to him about how he volunteered to pay for daycare, let it get 3 months behind, paid less than half of it and told me i need to pay the rest because "we're not friends i don't do you favors." and when i asked him to just pay the rest of what he owed and go on about his life, his response was "fuck you."..... so he was like "ooooh wow. thats crazy. do you know what he wanted you to do?" i told him to humor me. well how bout this piece of shit wanted me to go to the police station, sign a release for his property so they would give me his $1280 and expected me to use it to bond him out.

o_O

i said "you know what? you can tell him the last thing he said to me. tell him i said: we're not friends, i don't do you favors and fuck you."

merry christmas to him! i hope he enjoyed that room temperature prison eggnog :)

*cheese*

ahhh... now let me go kick it with my baby. yall have a safe and happy new year!!

joy

this has been a rough year and i still have some way to go to get to where i want to be. but i KNOW where i'm going. and i know that i have the determination, endurance, strength and patience to get there.

even through the rain, i'll still bleed smiley faces and sunshine if you cut me because i have too many reasons to be happy to let anything break me down.

so for anyone going through a rough time right now, i just want to say a couple things.

1. believe in yourself at all times, ESPECIALLY when others don't. success is the greatest revenge of all.

2. know that your current struggle is only temporary.

3. if you think you've hit rock bottom, atleast there is nowhere left to go but UP.

4. obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal, so stay focused.

5. for every one thing that gets you down, think of two reasons to keep going.

6. don't be your own worst enemy. strive for (and accept) nothing short of your worth.

7. reduce negativity and unnecessary distractions in your life, even if that includes people.

8. if something isn't working, try a different approach or eliminate the problem simply by deciding if it's even worth your energy or not.

9. time spent complaining is time wasted. what is your PLAN?

and most importantly...

10. find something to love about every day.

Merry Christmas Hoe

i went to the grocery store this morning and grabbed a few things to share with the office today.

- muffins

- fruit

- cookies

- orange juice

shit like that.

well the little korean office manager lady says to me "oh how nice! you mind if i take a one pack of oran jews fo geeft?"

me: "gift for... who?"

her: "oh here. in de office. we goeeng to do raffle, deese can be fo someone to win as prize."

and just takes the shit out of the break room. okay i brought in 3 six-packs and most people drink coffee anyway but i was still o_O

fast forward to the end of the day. my turn to play the raffle game, which i dont even have the energy to explain the ridiculous way they went about leading you to your "magic number" for your corresponding gift.

well i ended up at #10

which was this:

im like okay cool. i cant read any of these korean characters but its a gift set of some sort.

chocolates?

dishes?

smell goods perhaps?

nope.

i opened the box and............................

thats right yall see that six pack of tropicana ORAN JEWS! i won my own muthafuckin juice back!

aint that a bitch.

now *vanna white hand motion* i ALSO received a calendar from the korean bank we do business with, a pack of copy paper (from our stock room), deck of cards (also in korean, of course), some chocolates (which i really aint mad at), but what you don't see here is 4 packs of this:

"and what the fuck is that bella?" you may ask... well my friend, it's seaweed.

yes.fucking.SEAWEED.

and the reason it is not in that picture is because i promptly gave that shit away to someone who actually eats it. see korean folks wrap their rice in this dry seaweed. sorry but im not eating shit that grows in spongebob's front yard. call me an ignorant, ungrateful, uncultured, asshole if you want. i dont give a single solitary fuck. this just isn't something that belongs in a "gift set" for christmas or any other occasion.

i need answers.

first i need to know what made her look at my orange juice and think "ooowhee now that's a nice gift, i just know someone had vitamin C on their wish list!"

and i need to know how a ream of copy paper got involved in these shennanigans.

i would also like someone to tell me what game of cards i'm supposed to play with a deck i can't even comprehend.

um the calendar, fuck it.

and the seaweed.... i just can't.

well, merry christmas yall!!

i'll be hitting the road for virginia beach EARLY tomorrow morning to spend christmas time with my family, i hope you all have a safe and lovely holiday :)