Help Me! Please? :)

im sick of my layout. im sick of googling shit to FIND layouts. im sick of finding one i like and THEN it doesn't work. getting all types of error messages i don't understand n shit. see i can't be fuckin around with html. if the shit isn't good to go from jump, i want no parts of it. i've only changed my layout/template/whatever like twice since i started this blog... i think? and i dont even want anything fancy, that's what's pissin me off. i just want something simple like black or dark gray with some pink. no flowers or weird ass designs or stupid pictures... just some PLAIN shit. why is that so hard to find? any suggestions?

and if any of you say pyzam...

*shakes fist*