Wednesday, March 31, 2010
- my kids tell me i'm their best friend, and they are mine.
- i'm able to pay rent, on time.
- i have food, hot water, electricity, cable, and internet.
- i go to sleep and wake up next to a man who makes my heart happy.
- my children make Honor Roll and Perfect Attendance every quarter.
- i am currently a straight A student.
- all of my loved ones are healthy.
- i have transportation.
- i am employed.
- i keep my energy centered around positivity, strength, and growth.
- i know how far i've come.
- i know where i'm going.
- there are people who doubt me.
- at the end of the day, why wouldn't i?
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
grades for 2nd quarter have been finalized and i got straight A's! :)
not gonna lie, the first quarter i didn't do so great. started off good but then fumbled a bit. i was going back to school for the first time in 10 years, under a lot of stress, not getting enough sleep, and really just needed to get my time management skills in order. so i made sure for the 2nd quarter (and going forward) to organize my time better. i knew this wasn't going to be easy but anything worth having, is worth the struggle to get it. and i am so thankful to have a man in my life who supports me and cares for my kids so i can go to school. without him, i wouldn't be able to go. it means so much to me that sometimes i feel like i don't know how to thank him enough, that's a big thing to take on responsibility for kids that aren't even yours, atleast to me it is.
Friday, March 12, 2010
i used to write ALL the time. i have notebooks upon notebooks upon notebooks upon loose leaf papers upon random scribbled down thoughts.... just tucked away in my closet. i remember back when it was just me and my kids in my old apartment, after i tucked them in at night i'd go sit in the living room, listen to music, light some candles, zone out... then just write for hours.
i decided to read some of my old stuff... it's funny some of the things i wrote that i forgot about. interesting to see how i've grown...
your attempts to bring me down
only made me stronger
thank you for being a fraud
so i could recognize the real
thank you for making me numb
so i could learn how to feel
thank you for bringing me down
so i could pull myself together
thank you for raining on my picnic
so i could brave the weather
thank you for the manipulation
so i could learn to think for myself
thank you for crushing my soul
so i could nurse it back to health
thank you for the drama
so i could appreciate the silence
thank you for making me a momma
and goodbye violence.
or how i've remained the same...
"love of my life"
the moment we met
i felt it in my heart
we're in this til the end
nothing can keep us apart
and i know that's true
because i love you so much
i almost cry holding you
at the thought of losing your touch
you mean the world to me
your smile and your eyes...
when you look at me
and put your hand in mine
you make me forget my problems
and bring me to a happy place
even when we struggle
you put a smile on my face
anything you need
i won't rest until it's yours
i'll drop to my knees
and pray until they're sore
your happiness means more than my own
because you are my children
my flesh, my blood, my home.
i solemnly swear
to never neglect you
i'll always be here
to love and protect you.
Friday, March 5, 2010
"The way for a young man to rise is to improve himself in every way he can, never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him." - Abraham Lincoln
Hello good people. I'd like to speak on single mothers raising their sons in today's society. First let me make it clear that a woman cannot teach a boy how to be a man. We don't have a penis, we're not qualified. Point blank, period. The best we can do is teach our sons how to be good PEOPLE and hope that we have instilled enough respect and responsibility in them to produce a good man.
I often hear a lot of "My son will never act like this or my son will never do that." Which is a good thing, don't get me wrong, nobody wants to raise a disrespectful son who ain't about shit. But... my fellow Moms, please keep in mind it's not our job to turn our sons into the opposite of a man who has betrayed or failed us in life. It is a mother's job to teach, protect, and be a source of strength. Don't be so preoccupied in your mind about NOT raising an "ain't shit" man that you misguide your son into worshipping everything with a vagina. If you have a daughter, would you not tell her to be cautious in dealing with men? Of course you would, and probably fairly early. So let's not forget to protect our sons too. I always say: every man with a penis is not a dog, and every female with a vagina is not a lady (hence, bitches).
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; and nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." - Thomas Jefferson