Friday, March 12, 2010

i miss...

writing poetry. on paper.

i used to write ALL the time. i have notebooks upon notebooks upon notebooks upon loose leaf papers upon random scribbled down thoughts.... just tucked away in my closet. i remember back when it was just me and my kids in my old apartment, after i tucked them in at night i'd go sit in the living room, listen to music, light some candles, zone out... then just write for hours.

i decided to read some of my old stuff... it's funny some of the things i wrote that i forgot about. interesting to see how i've grown...


your attempts to bring me down
only made me stronger
thank you for being a fraud
so i could recognize the real
thank you for making me numb
so i could learn how to feel
thank you for bringing me down
so i could pull myself together
thank you for raining on my picnic
so i could brave the weather
thank you for the manipulation
so i could learn to think for myself
thank you for crushing my soul
so i could nurse it back to health
thank you for the drama
so i could appreciate the silence
thank you for making me a momma
and goodbye violence.

or how i've remained the same...

"love of my life"

the moment we met
i felt it in my heart
we're in this til the end
nothing can keep us apart
and i know that's true
because i love you so much
i almost cry holding you
at the thought of losing your touch
you mean the world to me
your smile and your eyes...
when you look at me
and put your hand in mine
you make me forget my problems
and bring me to a happy place
even when we struggle
you put a smile on my face
anything you need
i won't rest until it's yours
i'll drop to my knees
and pray until they're sore
your happiness means more than my own
because you are my children
my flesh, my blood, my home.
my life.
i solemnly swear
to never neglect you
i'll always be here
to love and protect you.


every day.


amymay said...

Nice! You should check out my eTwin's blog.

She's a poet/spoken word artist/performer that goes by Naturally Alise. On Tuesdays (unless she's being a slacker) she hosts a blog poetry slam on her blog.

It's cool to look back n see where you've been!

Dirty Red said...

Damn Girl....

This shit right here.....

Have you ever thought about getting your thoughts published?
I love to write also. Matter of fact I have been trying to right a political thriller for about 2 years now. I have not wrote anything in a minute though because I have writer's block, but hopefully I can get my shit published when I get it done. But your poems are fiyah Boo. For real.

Bella said...

@amymay thanks! and thank you for sharing that link too, i'll be sure to check her out!........@Dirty Red: thanks love! yeah i plan to get some of my stuff published eventually lol. im also working on a book but have writers block. havent touched it in like a year :-/ but you inspired me a lil bit to sit down n see what i can do today, thanks :) and good luck to you with yours!

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

You know I remember you mentioning making a book to uplift women about life, love and self esteem, how is that going? I love the first poem...I too have a few notebooks with my thoughts and poems and shit on them, I remember I cried when I was high school cuz when my family moved they threw out one of my notebooks.....

Try to keep the creative juices flowing, this blog is one way you are doing that : )

Bella said...

thanks mama :) yeah that's the book i havent touched in forever lol. i only have 4 pages done so far. and aw that sucks some of your things got thrown away, shit i woulda cried too! i got ur email the other day, i need to come thru n check ur recent posts :)