oh sorry. thats what i sing out loud to myself when im bored lol.
so let's see.... what can i talk about?
i guess i feel like talking about marriage because i just got off the phone with a dear friend of mine and i love her but she just makes me feel some kinda way sometimes. like she is so pressed to get married, she puts deadlines on her love life and it just bothers me. like "if he hasn't done this and that by such and such a time, i'm done with it. i wanna see if i can have kids or not and my time is too precious to waste."
okay but at the same time, if you don't give someone a fighting chance because they gotta operate on your timeline and it's rushed or forced, it won't last. and isn't that time wasted too?
i really think that marriage is overrated these days. it's like people don't know what it really means anymore. that shit means FOREVER bitch.
FOREVERRRRR. and ever.
honestly, i could care less if i ever get married. my main goal to achieve in a relationship is to just be happy. period. now dont get me wrong, i'm not refusing to consider marriage or rejecting the idea of it altogether. i'm just saying that it's not that serious to me. i mean it's just some rings, a legal document and a ceremony. and then what? i mean really. what's changed? you love eachother more now because you have your relationship in a contract?
okay let me break this down from my point of view.
i understand the "concept" of marriage. you love me, i love you. i can't see me with anybody else (which isnt even always the case, smh...) and i want to give you this ring as a symbol of my appreciation for your love and tell you in front of all our family and friends. and give you my last name... and sign this paperwork.
im fine and mufuckin dandy with all of that... except the last part. paperwork. what the hell is that necessary for? except changing of the last name, which some feel offers up some type of claim or validation. okay i understand that to a certain extent. BUT what i don't understand is WHY is marriage such a big deal? because history and the bible tell us that's what we are "supposed to do" when we truly love someone?
so people just be all in love and shit and then rush to the altar. then a couple years later realize "damn this mufucka really gets on my nerves." and get a divorce.
or a man who isn't capable of being faithful asks his #1 to marry him to make her feel "special." awwww aint that cute how you fuck bitches on the side but it's okay because "i got the ring bitch." (how many times have we heard that one?) well good for you dummy! congratulations! you are the one he loves MOST. but doesn't that ring mean you are supposed to be the ONLY?
okay let me be fair here... OR the unfaithful trifling bitch who accepts the ring, knowing damn well she doesn't deserve it. end up on maury pulling up a chair holding his hand talkin bout "you know i love you right?" smh...
OR the gold-diggin bitch. who when she sees the ring her immediate thought is *cha-ching!*
OR the sucker for love ass man who proposes JUST so no other man can snatch his lady up. fools.
i could go on and on... but i won't. all im trying to say is most people these days take marriage too lightly. divorce rates are high as hell. because some people dont understand it's meant to be PERMANENT. because that's what marriage is. the rest of life. and just as quick as you can sign a piece of paper to commit to "the rest of my life with you baby," you can sign another piece of paper saying "oops my bad, i meant until i got sick of your shit." and get a divorce.
i just dont see the sense in legalizing love. atleast not within the first 5 years of being in a committed relationship AND being over the age of 25. that should be like a free trial period. bond. learn eachother's faults. live together. share hard times. share happy times. meet the family. see if you are capable of growing with that person. figure out if you can handle eachother's faults. laugh together. cry together. oh yeah and have sex. fuck that waiting til marriage shit. it's 2009... you better test drive that car before you sign the title and drive off the lot because if you end up with some crap you're stuck... for the rest of your life. and we all know how frustrating car repairs can be, catch my drift?
then again, who waits til marriage anymore anyways? ha!
before i go let me just state that i am not a marriage hater. i wish the best for married folks, it's a beautiful thing to have found your "other half" and love of your life and all that. my feelings are just that it's not valued the way it was intended to be as much anymore. and people get out of it too easily nowadays. married 2 years (or less!), decide you made a mistake and then sign divorce papers. like how REAL could the love have been if it's that easy to say fuck it? it just bothers me when people put the goal of marriage before the goal of happiness. if you strive for happiness and attain it, ride that out for a good while to make sure it has longevity. fuck marriage until you have that in order FIRST.
like i've been with my man for 3 years now. ups & downs. highs and lows. tears and laughter. hard times, easy times. challenges and triumphs, all that shit. and i dont care how high on cloud 9 i am... 3 years is NOT enough time to know if someone is who you should spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with. i tried to tell my friend this because she's been involved with her man for even less time than me and mine. and she's all "no, he should know by now if he wants to be married and start a family by now." saying this while SHE isn't even ready to start a family her damn self. so what's the rush then?
i asked her "why do you want to be married?"
her: "because that's what i want, i want to be married."
me: "okay but WHY? you want to be married just to be married, or do you want to be married because you feel like HE should be your husband?"
her: "because i... i feel like he's the man i should marry... and i'm bout to be 30 i want to see if i can try to have kids before i'm 35 and im not having kids unless im married."
me: "oh okay just checkin. cuz actually that shoulda been your response the first time. i suggest you stop thinking so hard and relax cuz you're gettin ahead of yourself. you can't rush that. and aren't you the one who always says "if God blesses me with a child then it's meant to be but if not, then that's His plan..." so why are you trying to script your life?"
her: "you know what... i dont like you. okay so what? okay you're right, okay. okay..."
and THAT my friends... is exactly what im talkin about.
pace your life. you only get ONE time to live it.