Monday, February 8, 2010

And This is Why...

I really don't mean to do two posts in a row on the excuse of a man my children have for a father but.... just to clarify for those who haven't been following my blog very long...

I am not a spiteful, bitter woman, being a stank bitch about my bd over petty things. It's things like today. My youngest son's 5th birthday. His second birthday in a row with no phone call from the man who gave him life. The man who claimed once upon a time that his children meant the world to him. The man he looks like. The man who insisted he be named after him.

I can't wait to fill out those name change papers. Luckily my bd and my brother have the same first name so once I change my son's middle name, he will just be named after my brother, so it all works out :)

And I really don't give a fuck about snatching my bd's father's name away from him, because it's an ugly ass name anyway.


My older son's middle name is the same as my bd's first name (how crazy is it that he made sure both his sons had his name, then went to not giving a fuck to even say "happy birthday"??) so I'm changing his to my father's middle name. And my daughter's middle name is my bd's sister's first name. Sooo hers will be changed too lol. I'm changing it to "Saree" it means "most noble" in Arabic and I like how it sounds with her first name.

This whole changing of the names may sound a bit extreme, but seriously what is the point of having my children walk through life named after people who obviously don't care about them? No thank you.

Anyway, for my son's birthday I dropped him off at school with a cake this morning and then went back up there on my lunch break to have some cake with him and his class. We won't do the actual "celebrating" until Saturday because there's still one more birthday this week, my other son turns 6 on Friday (yeah they were born a year apart and will be the same age for 4 days, crazy huh? lol). So we'll do the Chuck E. Cheese thing when I get out of class and do cake and gifts and all that good stuff for them both then. I just LOVE when my kids have a birthday, I always think back to the day they were born. Despite all the bullshit I went through with their father for six years, if they were the only good thing to come of it, then it was all worth it in my eyes. They are the loves of my life and they mean more to me than I can even put into words. I live for them and I will die for them. Period.


FunkyStarkitty50 said...

In time, when your kids are old enough to understand, they will appreciate you more for what you are doing for them now. They will know who was there for them and who wasn't. He's the one who has to explain himself to them one day.

Anonymous said...

Just read your post and I read the previous one and you're not in the wrong at all! That's a shame that a man would not want to be with your kids they seem wonderful; oh well he's missing out on a good thing. I also cant believe that his FAMILY don't wanna do shit either (that's sad mayne)

You're doing them a favor by being straight up with them and not telling them a lie to protect his sorry ass.

Things happen for a reason and we all have situations but as long as the kids have plenty love from you and your dude; they will be straight :D also teaching your sons the RIGHT way to treat a woman instead of letting the cycle continue.

THanks for writing your posts they're really inspirational to keep on pushing and i don't even have kids!

2010 already looking up! it may be a few temporary bumps in the road but we keeps it moving!

i also agree with changing their middle names (I wonder if they had his last name because i knew a girl who legally changed her kids last name from his to cousin had to do the same thing except she did hers at the birth...)

keep up the good work Bella :D


Anonymous said...

My sister recently changed my niece's name to a new middle name as well as HER last name, not his! I am so happy for both of them, and trust me, DO NOT lie or cover up. You're doing a good job. Kids are very clever and as long as you keep it simple they will understand.
Good luck!

Kiki Fiyah said...

Funny, that you should write a blog about changing kid's names. I'm about to change Phoenix's middle and last names. I'm glad I did some research because here in Atanta that dude has to be notified. SMDH. Good post girlie.

Bella said...

thank you ladies! i want to reply to each individual comment but im on my phone right now and it doesn let me see your comments as i type :( but yeah his name isnt even on the birth certificate (we werent married and he never took the time to get a state-issued ID in order to get the paternity acknowledgement signed. smh) so i can change their names to Larry, Curly and Moe if i felt like it lol and there's nothing he can do about it :) and Ki! ima need to call you, i need to know whats going on :(

nil said...

Love your strength! It takes a strong woman not to be bitter. You are definitely doing whats best for your children.