the counselor suggested i become a police officer *blank stare* ummm... okay no way in hell could i do that. like putting cuffs on people and writing them tickets just is NOT for me.
lets say i get called to a domestic disturbance for instance...
man: she shot me in my arm!!
woman: i came home and he had another woman in our bed naked!
me: *shrugs at man* thats what yo stupid ass get. have a good evening ma'am. *hat tip*
or i'd fuck around and pull somebody over, smell some weed smoke and be like "is that marijuana i smell? gimme that sir." then take all their weed, send them about their business and roll a dutch in my patrol car in front of dunkin donuts.
so you see, Officer Bella would just be an all around bad idea.
ahhh but Crime Scene Investigator Bella would be ON IT. do you hear me?
but guess what? this course isn't available online (for obvious reasons) and the hours i would have to be on campus conflict with my work hours and my motherly obligations. and my kids father is nowhere near reliable enough to depend on to hold them down the way they'd need to be (insert the sincerest "if i knew then what i know now..."). and no way in hell am i gonna ask my man to make that type of commitment to watch kids that arent even his... 3 nights a week for two years. i love him dearly but we're not married and thats just too much i feel. and i cant afford an actual babysitter at this point in time honestly so... looks like i've hit a brick wall.
somehow, some way this is what i'm gonna do to it.