Thursday, January 7, 2010

Get It Together

Okay, there is one thing that really irritates me.

And that is: stupid bitches. I am revolting against stupid bitches in 2010.

There are many breeds of stupid bitch. Today I am talking about the opportunistic, misguided, money hungry variety.

I don't even know where to start... I guess I'll just do a list (i already had a rant about this on twitter today but 140 characters just ain't enough sometimes)

Things These Stupid Bitches Do

1. hold men to materialistic standards they don't even meet their damn self- if you drive a ford focus or take the bus how DARE you say it's a requirement for a man you deal with to be in a luxury car. if you're unemployed or work some part-time retail gig (and don't even go to school), how DARE you say a man must make a lot of money to fuck with you?

2. hold men to moral standards they don't even meet their damn self- if you're looking for a man to save you from financial burdens and end up with a man who does so, but treats you like shit, then you got what you asked for. if you treat a man like an ATM machine and only care about making withdrawls, DO NOT expect him to deposit anything but money and nut into your life. quality time? loyalty? pssshhh...

3. front like men just give them money and gifts for no reason- um 9 times out of 10.... you fuckin. be on the phone like "yeah girl he swear he getting some ass. please he better just come out them pockets and shut up." meanwhile receiving a text from him saying "you know you left your panties over here last night?" mhmmm... if your mentality is all you have to do is throw him some ass and he throws you some cash, you're basically just a "clever" prostitute, stop frontin. and don't flatter yourself.

4. brag about stupid shit- telling everyone that your fuck buddy/trick bought you a winter coat is basically like putting up a Burlington Coat Factory billboard with your vagina on it. "guess what! my pussy is worth $89.99 bitches!" well bravo for you hoe.

5. wonder why they are lonely- if deep inside you really want LOVE, get a fuckin grip and compose yourself. and your labia. you can't be out here fuckin all willy nilly and expect a man to snatch you up and roll out the red carpet for your raggedy ass. don't act like some big ol' pimpstress one minute and then mope about how lonely you are. pick a side and stay there.

6. say "men ain't shit." and "fuck men." - whenever i see or hear these statements i want to just go upside a bitch's head with a bottle of finely aged STFU. if you are out here using a man, expect to be used in return at some point. it's called karma.

7. use their pussy as a meal ticket- if you think you have a platinum vagina that will carry you all the way through life, i would like to kick your mother in the taint for not teaching you better. get some business about yourself. immediately.

8. mention how broke they are within the first two days of meeting a man- FAIL. (no further commentary necessary)

9. teach their daughters this foolishness- if you encourage your daughter to make sure she gets a rich man, without mentioning all else that is important in a man, fuck your life.

10. bring insignificant men around their child(ren)- some, not all, of these bitches think that if a man sees her children, they will feel more sorry for them and be more eager to help (that is, if they've "hit the jackpot" and found a sucka for love ass dude). this is just so wrong for so many reasons. using your kids for pity points? you're a just a bum using advanced peddling techniques, basically. and i won't even get into the chicks who's theme song is "have a baby by me baby, be a millionaire..."

I just need bitches to do better so we have less bitches and more LADIES in the world!
(Please stay tuned for further Stupid Bitch PSA's)


Anonymous said...

I for one say we line all them bitches up for punches in the throat and one way tickets to a VH1 reality show.

Bella said...

that sounds like a GRAND idea!

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

Very good points, now I hope you do a stupid bitch post on bitches whose man is clearly cheating on them but are always ready to scratch the other chick's eyes out or take solace in that "oh she just the sideline hoe" mentality ugh!

Bella said...

oooo yes! good one! i did a post that mentioned that but i know for sure i can do a whole post on that shit lol thank you!

Ava Dior said...

a dude asked me once why i'm faithful, and i said "because how can i expect from a man, something i cant even do myself" WORD.

great post!

Clutch 1 said...

*Stands up and applauds* Thank u for puttin those bitches on blast... Us real men would like more ladies and less I Love *name lame ass celebrity* bitches... *Tips fitted cap to all of the ladies*