Cookoo for Cocoa Puffs

I think I have thee most crazy baby daddy of all time.

So I was getting out of the shower last night and my phone rings at 11:20pm.

Somebody please just tell me why...

me: why are you calling my phone this late? I told you bout that shit.
BD: hey. yeah, sorry what's good though?
me: um what?
BD: hey listen, man...
*talking to someone in the background*
come here, I love you, just calm down, come here-
me: what did you call me for?
BD: hold on... shorty trippin.
me: huh?
BD: just talk to her, here.
me: what?! yo what the...?
shorty gets on the phone: I don't need this, I'm a strong woman. I can make it, I'll be okay, I'll be okay... right?
me: umm... what is going on? what the hell...
shorty: *repeats herself*
me: oh hell nah. what... just what??
shorty: I don't think she understands *voice fading*
BD gets back on the phone: just encourage her please.
me: WHAT?!?!?! yo I don't even know who the fuck that is!! what are you talkin about?! what?
BD: I'm just sayin, my shorty real stressed right now and you know... you're good at-
me: hold the fuck up. you asking me to give your girl some encouragement?? what... who does that yo?? I'm not even your friend and you gon put her on the phone with me without even... I mean just what the holy fuck is wrong with you?
BD: chill, chill. would you just talk to her please?
me: WHAT?! about WHAT?! for WHAT?! you are straight looney yo I swear! I'm not Dr.Phil and I'm not a pastor why in the fuck are you callin me with this? Like this is just wrong on so many levels. you just threw that girl on the phone thinkin I was gonna help her and didn't tell me shit so now I'm sure she feels pretty foolish right now and you... yo I can't even... just man listen you really take the cake-
BD: hold up, hold up I'm bout to tell you what's goin on!
me: um no you not cuz I'ma tell you right now that I don't even give a fuck what's goin on, I have nothing to do with yall. I don't even know her and YOU are just ridiculous! this is why I give you rules on calling me cuz you act a damn fool. don't you ever call me past 9pm again and YOU get ya girl straight, that's your position, not mine. Now I'm bout to enjoy MY night and you do NOT call me back!"

click.

I love my babies, I love my babies, I love my babies... wooosahhh. The shit I deal with, boy I tell ya...