Monday, September 28, 2009


Over the past couple days I've noticed a few things about myself, things I was too overwhelmed or distracted to notice before. I'm starting to think about my life harder than I ever have. I'm getting tired. I am fed up with the struggle. I am determined to look at every obstacle as a way to be more clever, to be stronger, to be smarter. I look at my babies and I feel like... "i HAVE to make it. i HAVE to." Any time I find myself feeling discouraged, I remind myself of my purpose.

We only get one life- ONE.

Today I did something I rarely do, let my brain be still. Just stop thinking about what needs to be done... and what needs to be done after that... and okay once that's done, then what? I feel like a robot sometimes. I started to think about alot of things... then I just cried. Just let every stress and every frustration roll down my face. I pretty much cried until I couldn't cry anymore. And I needed that. I hate to cry but I think as humans we just need to, atleast once in a while. One thing I like to say is: In order to get ourselves together, sometimes we need to fall apart.

I just make sure that when I pick up the pieces, I leave behind the parts I don't need anymore. Sometimes we need to stop and analyze ourselves. It's good to stop and think, what was I doing two years ago? And what am I doing now? Have I moved backwards or forwards? Is there anything I'm unhappy about right now that I can change?

Make a plan for yourself. What is your dream? What's standing in the way? How can you clear the path? Rarely in life are things going to happen just because we want them to really bad. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

And sometimes we need help, people to give us that encouragement when we're all tapped out. So choose your army wisely. You don't want negative people in your circle. I'm not saying cut off your miserable friends, just keep them outside your circle- love them from a distance. The more positive people you surround yourself with, the more that energy will rub off on you. The more goal-oriented people you associate with, the more you will strive for success. And don't let anyone tell you that you think you're better than anyone either. It's just growing up, we all have to do it eventually, some just get there quicker than others. That's their fault, not yours. And it's your life, not theirs.

Take some time to analyze yourself, figure out what you want, and how you can get there. Life is what you make it, so I suggest you make yourself proud.


Epitome said...

I love the fact that even though we all joke around on our blogs and on twitter and whatnot, we can get real and not just do shit for entertainment purposes.

Reading your blog, tweeting you, texting you, etc has made me admire you (truly) not many people can go through what you've been through and still come out on top, you will be will look back on these experiences and it will make you appreciate your success that much more. Your babies will appreciate their lives and their success that much more because they've seen that if mommy can do it, so can they.

Now, with that out of the way, I agree that sometimes you need a good cry, let the negative energy and frustrations fall and wipe it away.


Bella said...

awww thanks twin! i dont even know what to say, i just wanna give you a big ol' hug rite now :)

Monique said...

B, you were on some real talk here. I had to quote some of your stuff on Twitter. This post was refreshing, necessary and just what we all needed to hear. It touched me in a deep place and made me sit back in my chair. Thank you for that. I can't wait to hear your success story when its all said and done. What a testimony it will be.

Bella said...

awww wow thank you *hugs* im glad i was able to help you in some way. thanks for all the love ♥

Nikki said...

I truly admire your wisdom... As you said and it is very true someof us have to grow up sooner, and it ain't always by choice! As long as you do, you'll be alright. It's refreshing to see a person strive for success and make it, and that I see in you. Keep your head, and you'll be THERE sooner than you know it. *hugs*

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

Thanks for sharing this. I think most bloggers are naturally introspective I know I am (hence the name) but yeah with every situation there is an opportunity to learn and grow....

By the way I'm privating myself if you would like to read my blog at any time once I go private just go over there and send me an email to the one I posted. Thanks!

Bella said...

@Nikki: thanks mama! thanks for the faith and encouragement :) *hugs back*

@Introspective: thank YOU for reading lol, i will go ahead and put my request in now, thanks! :)